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A wise man once said best man speech

For those who do know me, I'll apologise now! I guess my real present must be parked outside?! Well 2 out of 3 aint bad! I was warned about keeping his ex's away today, but fortunately foot and mouth got rid of most of them! I don't know how many people that was wasted on mate!? To Joe and Kelly.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: BEST Best Man Speech ever! and by a 7 year old

A Wise Man Once Said – Avoid This Wedding Toast

Tim, I would like to say thank you for asking me to be your best man today, it's an honour to be asked and a pleasure to fulfil the role, and a big thank you for finally admitting after all these years that I am indeed the best man. Can I say what a great job they have all done today and how wonderful they look?

I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men all over the world, as another beauty leaves the list of available women. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today is passing by without much of a ripple. So where do you begin for ideas? For example, during our teenage years, by observing Tim I was able to avoid some truly terrible haircuts.

I kid you not he was called Daphne because of his lovely spiky haircut which made him look just like the woman off Neighbours!

The last 4 of these were all on the first night of his Stag weekend! Unfortunately for you Tim, today will be no exception. Not particularly embarrassing until I mention that the temperature was taken by a large hairy German nurse by sticking the thermometer forcibly up Tim's bum!

Tim didn't wake up until the ferry had landed back at the point we had originally left over an hour earlier! Even the crew of the ferry were in on the joke! That story is only slightly less funny because I was asleep next to him the whole time! My personal favourite is the time we all went Go carting and Tim was dressed head to toe in a bright purple, figure hugging, full Lycra gimp suit. Tim looked hilarious and it was seeing him in that tight fitting suit that we decided that Sarah was obviously marrying Tim for his charm and good looks and for no other reason.

Either that or it was much colder in Warsaw than we thought! After a long Saturday night on the beers Tim and a friend walked home to the hotel along the seafront and decided to make a slight change to the landscape which was not visible until the following day.

And as a replacement, fluttering in the wind, on the flagpole, at the end of Skegness Pier, were the smelly boxer shorts Tim had been wearing the night before!

I'm told that Tim tried to do the same thing the next year, but ended up falling off the roof! So there is some justice. He says he's going in fully committed he plans to score 2 or 3 times every weekend and he plans change ends at half time! Don't put your tackle in too hard or you might injure yourself. Don't worry Sarah I'm not going to mention anything about diving in the box.

And Sarah, you have been unlucky enough to have found someone who looks like a cross between Frank Skinner and Graham Norton. It's been a great honour to be your best man today, and I know you and Sarah will have a long and happy marriage together! I'm sure many of you will join me in spending a lot of quality time with them both this evening. We hope Sarah has more luck. Underwood, Tim and Sarah! I hope it proves useful for someone.

Many thanks,. I did ask for a microphone but Tim was too stingy to pay for one so if any of you can't hear me at the back, the silence coming from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing out on anything! A very wise man once told me that the Best Man's speech should last as long as the Groom lasts making love… Check watch…… Thank you ladies and gentlemen — have a good evening…..

Anyway, I'd like to start traditionally and thank Tim on behalf of our bridesmaids, for his kind words. They really do look smashing today and only rightly outshone by our bride, Sarah who looks absolutely amazing. Now as I mentioned, it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I wanted to make the process as easy as possible.

The obvious place seemed to be the internet, so with a multitude of resources at my fingertips I dutifully began searching the web. What I can tell you is that Tim was born on 15th July Tim was a bit of a slow starter.

At Playschool Tim was different from the other 5 year olds… he was In spite of this, I have learnt a great deal from Tim over the years. And it was due to one of these dodgy haircuts that we thought we were going to have our first female footballer in the family when we discovered Tim's nickname at his junior football club — Wait for it…….

I have the pictures to prove this….. During our time growing up together there have been times that I was not so much an older brother, but more of a mother to Tim:. I've watched him drink from a bottle, I've cleaned up after him when he's been sick, I've watched him stagger around naked, I've dressed and undressed him, and I've helped him to walk. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is traditional for the Best Man to dredge up some stories about the groom's past to embarrass him.

There was the time when Tim fainted in the Zeppelin museum in Germany and ended up in hospital having his temperature taken. There was the occasion in Portugal when Tim got left sleeping on a ferry after all the other passengers had got off. I could tell you many great stories about the fantastic stag Weekend we had in Poland. The last story I'm going to tell you about is an incident which occurred on a weekend trip to Skegness. However, I'm sure that it wasn't long before the first of the Sunday morning strollers went out walking down to Skegness pier for a breath of fresh air and got quite a surprise.

Picture the scene — two lovely old ladies taking a gentle ramble along the seafront.. What a shock those old ladies must have received when they saw that the union jack which normally hangs from the flagpole, 50 feet up in the air at the end of the pier, had been stolen! I'm not sure about the state of the old ladies after that shock, and I'm definitely not sure about the state of the boxer shorts in question!

Anyway, Tim has survived all these incidents and it was on a slightly less raucous night when he was out drinking with his friends that he met the love of his life… Sarah. And the rest, as they say — is history…. I know Tim is serious about Sarah as has told me that he intends to love and nurture his marriage the same way he does with his beloved football. Some advice though Tim. To be serious for a moment, I'd like to say that Tim, in Sarah you have found someone that is attractive, smart, funny and loving.

You're a lucky man Tim, Sarah's a beautiful girl with a heart of gold, and she deserves a good husband… thank god you snapped her up before she found one.

In all seriousness though Tim, you've been a brilliant brother and a great friend to me over the years. Now, there are obviously two other very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible.

So please join me in a very special toast — to the bar staff! Before I ask you all to join me in the real toast to the happy couple I'd like to take this opportunity to read some cards out from friends and family who couldn't make it today. Now then, it gives me great pleasure to ask you all to be upstanding and raise your glasses for the toast:. November 6, at am. Planning Essentials. Beauty and Wellbeing. Real Weddings. Wedding Fashion. Search the site.

You may like Best Man Speech Examples. Speech by Chris Whalley. Best Man Speech Examples. Speech by Steve Pocock. Speech by Neil. Speech by Steven McCormack.

Best Man Speech

I also found, of course, beaucoup wedding videos of the newly-weds dancing, the wedding party dancing, the bride cutting the cake, the bride and groom exchanging vows… and, most significantly for the topic of this post, the toasting of the newly married couple. This sort of scene has seduced too many best men and others into the conviction that they too can bumble their way through an awkward toast that is witty to the point of hilarity. Hugh Grant and the others are — and this seems to have somehow gone unnoticed — actors in a movie, rendering dialog written by professional screenwriters to an audience of other actors whose enthusiastic, gleeful response is, literally, scripted. In real life, bumbling, awkward speeches that aspire to sweetly salacious and funny are just — well, bumbling and awkward. Everyone who has works in a a science- or math-based field has heard the sardonic explanation of the three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

All going well, by the time you get to the end of your speech, which is where quotes are typically placed, the audience will have warmed to you because of your good humour and sensitivity. At this point they are ready to receive a bit of wisdom, from you, or in the form of a quote. Here are some great examples of Best Man speech quotes that will leave the audience feeling that bit cleverer and wiser.

Hello and welcome to you all on this very special occasion, to celebrate the wedding of this fine couple we have before us. Firstly on behalf of the beautiful brides —maids I would like to thank Alex and Julie for their kind words and would like to add my compliments to them on doing a wonderful job of keeping Julie looking superb throughout the ceremony. Also thanks to Lou for being their as the number 1 best man to Alex. A wise man once told me that the best mans speech should last as long as the grooms best efforts at making love.

Top Best Man Speech Ideas

We all want to know how others did it, so we can either replicate their triumph, and steal their funny one liners, or hopefully avoid the way they crashed and burned. You can see from these examples that a good introduction just needs to be simple and straightforward, and if you can get something funny in there, even better! Well, Paul, the once great Thespian should know better than most…anyway where were we? This is a celebration of wedded bliss and to have the stamp of approval from one of the biggest names in radio makes it all the more special. What can I say? Last week my listener figures went into double figures. The week before the studio phone actually rang twice. Remember this face. Neil is a special friend and special friends deserve one thing: three stag dos. The weekends of Istanbul, London and Leeds will live long in the memory of not just those who went, but also those who read about us in the national papers.

Speech by Andy Ward

Tim, I would like to say thank you for asking me to be your best man today, it's an honour to be asked and a pleasure to fulfil the role, and a big thank you for finally admitting after all these years that I am indeed the best man. Can I say what a great job they have all done today and how wonderful they look? I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men all over the world, as another beauty leaves the list of available women. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today is passing by without much of a ripple. So where do you begin for ideas?

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When it comes to weddings, there are certain things you look forward to that bit more eagerly than others. The cutting of the cake, the first dance, and of course — the best man speech. Not only is this a chance for the chosen friend or family member of the groom to send their blessing to the new couple, but also to get a few jokes in at their expense.

best man speech examples

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Speech by Ian Underwood

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Apr 8, - For an occasion such as this " "A wise man once told me that a best man's speech should be as long as the groom makes love. So, thank you.

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How to nail the best mans speech!

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What NOT To Say In Your Speech

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Best Man Speech Quotes

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